Just before the new year, life in the home of Washington Post reporter, Christopher Ingraham became a bit hectic. This wasn’t due to the normal holiday stresses or going stir-crazy due to the frigid cold temperatures keeping everyone indoors.
Photo: @_cingraham ~ Hiding from the holidays?
This year, Christopher can blame it on 250 live crickets that invaded every corner of his home!
Moving to a picturesque town in the northwestern part of North Dakota a few years ago, they’ve learned to plan ahead for the cold winter months. Their clan is full of tiny humans and animals including 3 cats and an adorable beagle/basset hound pup.
Photo: @_cingraham
This time, it was the families new bearded dragon, Holly, for which preparations were being made. The closest pet store that sells her favorite meal of crickets, is a 2 hour round trip drive. At about 10 crickets a day, that’s not a journey anyone wants to take multiple times a month.
Christopher had a brilliant idea though. He would order a bulk supply of live crickets for her online from a reputable supplier. Problem solved! Or so he thought…
Photo: @_cingraham ~ Holly
The shipment arrived on December 28th and what occurred next is best retold through the series of unfolding and honest twitter posts!
So, a shipment of crickets for the lizard arrived via FedEx today. It was my first time ordering bulk crickets off the internet, and I naively assumed that they would be in like, a bag or some other contraption to facilitate easy transfer to another container. They were not.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
I say “That’s a good question. Let me check something.” I walk over to the bathroom. I open the door. There are crickets. Everywhere.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
What happened next shocked them all and effected the entire house well into 2019!
The furry residents were likely quite baffled at what had invaded their sanctuary. Was it a belated holiday gift for them? An extended “fast food” meal?
Photo: @_cingraham
For the next couple of weeks, Christopher’s Twitter followers have been delighted to his posts of what life is REALLY like when you open “Pandora’s box”!
But I’m glad you all enjoyed our suffering, we’ve been laughing our asses off at your responses all day which almost makes it all worth it. To my new followers, I look forward to disappointing you in 2019.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
Perhaps there will be an improvement in the shipping methods for live crickets? Apparently his story is not the only laughable moment transporting the chirping insects.
One of my favorite things about sharing the cricket story is hearing from traumatized FedEx drivers who understand *exactly* what I’m talking about pic.twitter.com/KDZ3cgRyHf
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 30, 2018
To be fair to the supplier, Fluker Farms, they did make a video on the proper procedure to open live shipments…something perhaps that should have been stamped on the box?
OH NOW YOU TELL ME https://t.co/tR6UBzzVIZ pic.twitter.com/fo6Dtlq3t6
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 31, 2018
Lucky for the family, they can all find the humor in the situation now.
Traditional Louisiana anniversary gifts:
1ST YEAR: Paper
2ND YEAR: Cotton
3RD YEAR: Cricket box— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 31, 2018
In memory of the good times we’ve all shared I decorated my New Year’s hat with freeze-dried crickets this year. Here’s hoping we make it through 2019 somehow pic.twitter.com/s4Ky90AVZq
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) January 1, 2019
So I’ve offered crickets to every member of the house.
Lizard: will eat
Dog: will eat with gusto, believes they’re magic treats?
Cats: will bat around, won’t eat
Baby: will eat if not moving
Twins: “eww dad!”
Wife: “get that f***ing thing away from me”https://t.co/HwwnxGWPYX— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) January 1, 2019
Photo: @_cingraham
Wishing the household lots of soon-to-be cricket free days in 2019! So far, it seems they’re still creeping out of the woodwork! Whoops! HAHA
My 2019 resolution is to alienate my pre-cricket and post-cricket followers in equal amounts
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) January 2, 2019
For those wondering: yes we are still finding crickets in the house. Today one was bopping around under the coffee table until this savage beast dispatched it with extreme prejudice pic.twitter.com/SWz1CFmZau
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) January 3, 2019
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Crickets on the hearth are good luck or not.
LMFO!! I am the grandmother to two beautiful bearded Dragons. I love then to pieces. I would do anything for them except give bugs. That’s Mom and Dad’s job. I do salads! Yes we have had crickets running around the house and it’s hilarious. I can’t imagine having as many as you had. Your wife must be a very good sport. Hats off to her and your family for finding such wonderful humor in this.
Imagine this, but with mealworms…!!
I taught school with an overly-enthusiastic young pup who put a cookie sheet full of mealworms in the teachers’ lounge fridge. Well, someone opened the fridge door and dumped the precariously-balanced tray of mealworms all over everyone’s lunch and snacks. I have no idea what she did for her science lesson that day. I do know lots of us ate the cafeteria meal.