Neighbor Leaves Anonymous Letter Threatening Cats Owner; His Civilized Reply Prompts Hilarious Responses

In a picturesque coastal village in England, one cat’s life is that of adventure and indoor/outdoor living. 

Photo: www.walney-island.com

The town of Walney is home to curious cat Winston.

It is he who is at the middle of an anonymous online “situation” between neighbors. 

Arriving home one day, Winston’s human servant, Karl Hart, found an odd note on his door.

“Dear Sir/Madame,” 

“I am writing in regards to your cat, Winston. Grey Cat, Bow-tie Collar. He is a Pest.”

“The neighbour says he is your cat.”

“He is constantly through our cat flap and eating all our cat’s food throughout the day.” 

“My cat needs to be on a special diet that is expensive, he trashes my kitchen opening cat pouches all over the floor.”

“Each time I catch him from now on I will take him to the RSPCA, which will be inconvenient for you as I commute to work, so will be Lancaster, Kendal, Blackpool, Preston and sometimes Scotland. So each time I catch him I will take him to a different one so you will have to pick him up.”

“You need to maybe get him a cat flap so he isn’t locked out all day or at least feed him now and again. This is neglect.”

“He is a beautiful boy and if I didn’t already have my cat I would take him in microchipped or not and I wouldn’t let him out.”

“Please keep him in or at least feed him otherwise travelling around the country with him is my next step with him.”

“My cat needs his diet regulating and your cat keeps eating it all. Thank you.”

Photo: @hartkarl

Now thankfully Karl is the type of person who did not want to escalate the situation. 

Instead he decided to write a reply and post it to his Facebook page…since the author was anonymous. 

“To the anonymous lady in the vicinity of Verdun Avenue, Walney threatening to abduct my cat,”

“Firstly; let me assure you that I do appreciate your frustration with Winston coming in your house and eating your cats food.”

“I too find other cats entering my house through the cat flap that is present and eating the food that is here. I however see it as an acceptable hazard of allowing my cat to come and go as he pleases.”

“Secondly; please be assured that as I do not follow Winston on his adventures, and he doesn’t report back to me on them, the letter you posted through my door was the first I’ve heard of him freeloading off you!”

Photo: @hartkarl

“In all seriousness, in order to prevent what appears to be your objective of making my life hard by travelling around the country to retrieve my cat (in no way stopping him helping himself to your cats food once he’s home and exploring again) I would like to offer to buy you a new cat flap that only your cat can access.”

 “If (hopefully) you are a member of this group please get in touch with me to organise a rational solution to this issue.”

“Also, if you happen to be friends with the lady please pass this message along.”

“Kind regards, Karl”

Karl’s post has garnered attention all across the world.

Many have taken to flooding the post with hilarious cat pun comebacks.

Primarily from one friend, John Burgess, who we’d totally want to be friends with. HAHA

“Sounds like a bit of a cat-astrophe to me.”

“Why don’t you hiss and make up?”

“Doesn’t sound like she’s feline fine, take her some whiskers round to cheer her up.”

“She obviously thinks shes purrfect.”

“Maybe her cat invited him over for a spot of dinner, he is dressed for the occasion with his little dickie bow on…”

Photo: @hartkarl

Others have brought up some VERY valid points in Winston’s defense and offer a few great solutions. 

“Taking a cat to a charity that is already stretched and depends on public contributions when the owner lives across the street is malicious, selfish, and quite pathetic.”

“This is awful she should just close the cat flap.”

“If her cat has a cat flap to come and go as he pleases, how on earth is she monitoring his diet? He could be eating anything while he’s out, including other cats food. Can’t be that regulated and strict can it?”

With technology these days, there are all sorts of products for micro-chipped cats! 

And to make it easy, we added them to our Amazon favorites for you all. 

You have the first and obvious choice…the pet flap that ONLY opens for programmed pets. 

You can program it for multiple pets.

It even has a Curfew Mode which programs the door to lock and unlock at specified times!

Funnily enough, one of the reviews on the product caught our attention…

June 5, 2017 – Fantastic pet door. I was having problems with multiple neighborhood cats coming in my house eating my two cats food. Now only my two can come in thru this pet door. One cat learned to use the door right away. It took my second cat a couple of days. Its a little loud when the locks engage but I love this product! Solved my problem.”

Next, if you have smarty pants cats in your area, they may learn to quickly follow your cat through a micro-chipped door. 

So for an extra level of security, there is the micro-chipped feeder.

Not only does this work in this situation, it’s great for multi-cat homes. Like the Cole, Marmalade, Jugg and Zig Zag abode! 

Marmalade and Zig Zag have sensitive stomachs so to ensure they eat the right food, we use these for all 4 felines. They’re AMAZING! 

And would certainly stop Winston from allegedly eating the “victim” cats food. 

Hopefully the woman will be notified of Karl’s very apurropriate reply and consider an alternative route vs. catnapping the bow-tied beauty.

14 Comments

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  1. This cattracity must end!!!!!
    If you dare kitnap my cat I will put 750 mice in your house thru the said cat door!!!!!!
    From
    Winston’s Friend

  2. Re: Marmalade and Zig Zag have sensitive stomachs

    I have been dealing with this problem with my cat for several months with multiple attempts to find the right food for her needs. Could you please share what food(s) you’ve had success with for Marm and Ziggy?

    Thanks >^..^<

    • We use all natural, grain free for Marm (Weruva, Primal Nuggets Freeze Dried & rehydrated, Solid Gold, Muse, Natures Recipe, Nutro & Natural Balance) and because Zig Zag still requires kitten food, we rotate between natural Wellness, Blue Buffalo and Science Diet Prescription I/D. As a treat, she gets Weruva.

      One of the best things we did for Marm since he’s a “puker” is elevate his food dish. Really helps.

    • If your kitty is having an issue you should take them to your regular vet. All she said is that her cats have a “sensitive stomach” – that is super vague, you have no idea if your cat is having a similar issue or if the foods she uses will even help yours. You should not be changing your cat’s diet over and over, especially if you’ve noticed they have a sensitive stomach – and especially if you do not know the cause of their sensitive stomach. If your kitty is having an issue with a sensitive stomach(vomiting? diarrhea? What does that mean to you?) have them checked with your veterinarian and ask for suggestions for your cat’s specific issue. If they’re vomiting or having diarrhea, that could be caused by MANY different things. Switching their diet will not help if it is a more serious issue, it isn’t likely that your cat just has a “sensitive stomach.” Not totally impossible I suppose, but.. there usually is a cause for a cat’s excessive vomiting and/or diarrhea. It would be better to figure out that cause and rule out anything serious.

      Not at all trying to sound mean here, I just want everybody’s pets to be safe! It’s never a good idea to just go with suggestions off the internet 🙂 sometimes it might work out just fine but you never know, if your pet is having any type of issue – GO TO YOUR VET. That’s what they’re there for! 🙂

      They can also suggest foods, write prescriptions for specific foods(the i/d she mentioned), suggest diagnostics to figure out why kitty is having this issue.

  3. I am dealing with a worse person than this, when he moves in first thing he said was, get rod of ur cats their pest… i was like excuse me??? U just moved here and thats the first thing u say… anyways he has gone out his way to place trapes, called animal control and the cops on me over my cats… i lived here years and now this man is making my life a living hell over his grumpiness, lets not forget to mention his dog never shuts up and my kids cant play in their own yard anymore because of it… also lol my cats name is kat-astrophe, found it funny they mentioned it…

  4. My cat is prone to barfing as well through eating too quickly or eating and then overloading on water. He gets two or three small portions of each meal which helps. In the morning he gets three breakfasts (“Second breakfast? Ah don’ think they know aboot second breakfast”) and it’s two dinners in the evening plus supper.

  5. When it came time to move from my grandparents’ home, I could not take my cat with me. I would have had to fight off the whole street. I think the body between him and my grandfather was what kept my grandfather going for a significant number of years.

    When cats socialize, they share food willingly. Where I live now, I need a lock-out flap to stop Blue Tongue Lizards from setting up home in the laundry.

  6. Very aMEWsing, but in all seriousness, caring and responsible people, wherever on the planet they may live and whatever their traditions, keep their cats INDOORS only, safe from all of the dangers that are out there. Just as you wouldn’t let your toddler kid be on the street all day, you shouldn’t let your cat be on the street, either.

  7. Unless the woman stood there to witness Winston “eat and destroy” from start to finish then there is no proof that it was him. Other very possible culprits are: raccoon, fox, small dogs, multiple neighbor cats, and stray cats. I’ve seen an actual “gang” of 5 cats comprised of an array of breeds (domestic and purebred) that hung around my 1/2 acre backyard a few summers ago. They looked well fed and groomed but no other clues to if they were strays, escapees, or had homes. They seemed edgy trying to keep a certain order of dominance between them so I was not trying to get closer.

    • Put rocks on top of his food in his dish. It slows him down if he has to eat around the rocks. We did this for one of our cats that like to wolf down his food only to vomit it right back up.

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