Chicago is home to a one-of-a-kind rescue/arcade-themed lounge and cage-free cat café, the Catcade. Since opening, the rescue has saved over 2000 cats and kittens, taking time to find the purrfect home for each cat family member. (It’s a good idea to make reservations first.)
The Catcade has a wicked sense of humor, often translating into hilarious descriptions of the kitties up for adoption. Rescuing can often be emotionally draining on many levels, so laughter is always welcome and essential, really. It gets rescuers through each day when things are often as unmanageable as the phrase, “herding kittens.”
Here are several funny descriptions of the cats looking for homes in Chicago, put in a way that only the comedic founders Chris and Shelly could put it. Their followers are also hilarious and often have clever comments in response to the dry wit and humor. It takes a village, lots of humor, skill, time, patience, tough love, and creativity to help cats find homes. But as they say here, “Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Warning: Readers may find some vulgarity in the humor.
Wow Has ‘Prom King Energy’
Here’s a kitten up for adoption at the Catcade named Wow, a wily little dude who seems to know he’s posing for the camera. But you can tell from the description he’s a ball of energy ready for anything. Incidentally, the rescuers throw an annual “Cat Prom,” and Wow looks like he’s ready.
“Would you look at this damn cat?
LOOK AT IT.
Posing for you like a prize-winning show cat. Ha. Jokes on you. Wow is made of 60% trash and 40% prom king energy, and you can’t handle all this majesty.
You can also pick up and hold Wow all you like, and I only know this because his punk ass is always running for the door like he just robbed a bank. Someone, please adopt him or hold all three doors open for him so he can go live his true life as a future felon,” wrote Chris.
“That cat could rob you blind and convince you it was your idea!” commented one person.
Pandora the Outdoor Trash Cat
Often, rescuers see how excited people get when they think a cat is a rare breed. If that works to get them adopted, then so be it, but it can also be a little frustrating/funny. That leads us to the description of Pandora, who someone was interested in thinking she was a particular breed.
“Oh my god, is that a rag doll Norwegian forest cat, Maine coon?!”
No, Becky. It’s Pandora, and outside of her super stupid raccoon tail, she’s a 100% pure breed outdoor trash cat just waiting to sit in your windows and impress your neighbors who will look past the old toilet on the side of your house and that 93 Camry chillin’ in the driveway and only see the fancy cat luxury of Pandora illuminating the neighborhood.
So if you like former garbage animals masquerading as imported Scandinavian opulence, slide on in and kiss the ring,” Chris wrote.
“I love her! And she may look like a fancy ass breed, but you know she’ll throw down with Baltimore tap water and Friskies PartyMix,” someone commented.
Two Bonded Brothers of Mayhem
Now, here’s two crazy bonded brothers whose kitten energy is a little off the charts, just the way someone in Chicago will love them.
“Did you have an unstable childhood and do you also hate sleep? Well, hot damn do I have two ragers for you,” Chris shared.
“Omie and Caesar are two bonded dumb boys looking to bring some chaos and low-level anxiety into your life whether you like it or not. Six and four months old, they are like two little maniacs who want nothing more than to get a little affection and cause problems. Fourteen-year-old Chris would have gone mailbox bashing with them after a long night of stealing newspaper machines to break into for money to go see crappy punk bands in sketchy basements.
“Two sweet boys who have a lot of love to give, but also someone flipped their switch to mayhem, and we can’t catch them to turn it off, so that is on you. Now come take these heshers off of our hands,” Chris wrote.
Chris and Shelly, co-founders and directors of The Catcade via website.